Did you decorate it???
Which means...is it plain or does it have sauce and spices on it.
Honestly, the moment he says that....it puts me in a bad mood. I go into the whole "conversation" of how I have cooked all day for you...be thankful....there are starving people in the world...no dessert if you say one more comment.
Do you do this???
Lately, I have been considering my attitude and why I do what I do....
or this....
or that...
I can easily get in the "poor me" syndrome when I am faced with loads of laundry or after cooking a wonderful, hot meal....looking for compliments from my family and then realizing they have all left the table. {Okay...this is an all HONEST post...it's hard for me to write this but it's so true.}
A verse that I have put in my laundry room and over my dishwasher is...
"Whether, then, you eat of drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. " I Cor. 10:31
I have my {seasons of life} where I have to refocus on why I do what I do ~being careful to not fall into the "martyr syndrome"....
and sing "Woest Me"?
44 comments:
Preach it girlfriend! We did have a season of this with our girls! It didn't last long after they realized that they can eat whatever is on the table or not at all. Sorry! There are way too many hungry people in the world to complain about the meal being served to you! Don't get me started on this one as so many of us have and continue to struggle with this with our children. I laugh as I end with...whether our girls like the dinner served or not...Both of them will get up from the table each night and will ALWAYS thank us for dinner and comment that it was good. Seriously, even if it's on a weekend and we've had only a bowl of cereal for lunch. lol! I think we were so cruel about this in the beginning that they know never to touch this subject of...I don't like or are we having this again? I didn't mean to go on and on...but this one gets me going. Not sure if I was much help though.
Hey Sandy Toes! I am past those years cause my children are grown and gone, but I so do remember feeling like I was the only one who ever did anything around the house, that no one appreciated me, etc., etc., etc. So I totally understand what you are saying!! And don't worry - no judging here! but it does feel that way cause sometimes they do take us for granted. I can remember saying to my hubby - you never help me around the house - his answer would be "well, I don't see anything that needs to be done!" - haha I knew I was fighting a losing battle then ;-) and you can see that I survived and can laugh about it now. Sometimes I would kind of pout, to no avail cause they didn't even notice! ha So, I say to you, bask in self pity every now and then. And tomorrow you will be back to loving every single thing that you are able to do for your family! {Oh, one more thing... I found that if I made a joke of some of my issues with the fam, they would get the idea better} I am here as an ear to listen or for suggestions if you wish. I have been there!! ~~~ Nowadays, I wish I had all that laundry, etc. I miss raising children and my hubby has since passed away. Looking forward to the day I have grands!! xoxo
Are you reading my mind?!?!?!??! I was just in the same spot this evening after being mommy all day, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning up the kitchen, giving kids baths, etc... It may be 2009 but we are still the woman of the house, I can't believe I just typed that, and if we like it or not we are the ones to care for our families. I know that I did it to my mom growing up but as I look back I cherish how she took care of our family and I hope that one day my kids, and my husband, will look back and appreciate how I love and care for them. I think sometimes we put the pressure on ourselves to be "super mom" and we expect everyone to see the intentions of our heart...and when it isn't seen we get discouraged and burnt out. You keep doin what you are doin and I will stop by and tell you what a great job you are doing! ; ) Love and hugs!
Well, since it's just the hubby and I, I don't have to deal with too many complaints about dinner. He always compliments me on the dinner I make. Even if I don't think I did so well.
There are days when I do that. I know that I have not been married that long, but there are days when I feel like I am tired of being the one that feels like I have to make sure the laundry is done, the bathroom is clean, the kitchen is swept, and dinner is warm on the table. Don't get me wrong, my husband helps here and there. But sometimes the laundry is piled so high I don't want to look at it. Or I want to throw it in the washer and dryer, but not fold it. Sometimes the kitchen floor stays dirtier than necessary. It happens and I think it is normal to have these moments. Keep your chin up!
Yes, Yes, yes, I think all of us stay-at-home moms do that. Like your post!!! Great reminder for me!
You have no idea how often I've felt just like you! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! It has bothered me when I've "slaved" over a hot stove only for my family to eat a little of this and a little of that. What??? Do they not know all the time I spent preparing it and wiping the sweat from my brow (well, not really!)? I have given them every speech in the book. Do you know just how fortunate you are to even have food on the table? Etc, etc, etc! However, I do have to say that my girls and hubby are all very good about complimenting me, anymore, and letting me know how much they ALL appreciated the meal. I think it's finally sinking in that I need to hear that! Thank you, Lord! However, at the same time, I've had to adjust my own attitude and remember that I don't prepare meals for my family to hear all their praises. I'm doing so as a way of fulfilling my purpose in life, according to God's will...being a stay-at-home mom. Definitely keeps me grounded AND sane!
YES!!!!
That is when I remind myself I am doing it as "unto the Lord". ...and then I take a day to read a book! Everyone has their moments...
I love what your son says! That would make me laugh...my kids moan and groan and it sends me through the roof. I am posting about what my husband and I came up with for that in a few weeks....
Take a day just for you-everyone needs a break once in a while...Today is that day for you...and go have a Chick-Fil-A for me!
Yes; I agree with all the comments so far. You are NOT alone girl. I'm very lucky with a husband that helps out a lot and is, most of the time, sensitive to my feelings, because I married him AND his children. Talk about life change; single, to stay at home mom of three, with a simple "I Do"! Something that has helped me not lose my mind, is to remember all mom's are in the same boat! It's okay to feel those things, and its okay to be stressed and frustrated. ONE thing I would give for advice, because it's something I NEED, is seeing if you have the freedom to ask your husband to watch the kids or take them off your hands every once and a while. Even if its when he comes home from work and is for 30 minutes, so you can lay on your bed and gain back your sanity, or just cook without being bothered! Something I do for time by myself, is go to Walmart on Sunday's, for my grocery store run. Oh how I look forward to that time! HA!
Was feeling sorry for myself earlier this week too-posted about it! BUT I'M OUT OF MY FUNK NOW!
I loved this post because it is true of everyone. I also loved the scripture you have in your laundry room.
Keep your head up because even though they dont say it (and they should) they do appreciate all that you do.
I wish I had told my mom more how much I appreciated her.
Love and Prayers,
Tim
Ah yes...once upon a time! But then the kids grew older and were taught to do their own laundry.....then they moved off and the hubby took over the laundry duties! ''Yes, about dinner...when I cook I want compliments!!! After all we did just cook for them!!!
Gosh, of course I do. We would not be normal if we did not. Being the domestic goddess sometimes takes a toll on us.
I just try to remember how lucky I am that I get to take care of such a great group of people..most of them share my DNA. ;0
We eat a lot of chicken too and my oldest usually has something to comment about this...on those days I make her plate with NO chicken and see what she has to say. we all get a good laugh about it.
Ditto!! Often feel the same way too! Take care
Janet
I get tired of having to plan everything. Plan what I'm going to make, so then I can plan what we have to get at the grocery store, and then plan what has to defrost.
Wouldn't it be great if someone else could plan all the meals for once?
I can honestly say that I have NOT hid my head in a laundry basket and sand "woest me" only because for some reason I never thought of it! Great idea!
My kids can be really picky eaters (as evidenced by my post Attack of the Beans) so I find cooking really difficult sometimes. There's so much I'd love to cook but I'd be the only one to eat it.
That is for sure. You hit a nerve with most of us Sandy. My head is permanently in the laundry basket. And it doesn't smell good either.
Carry on.
Every cotton pickin weekend! Normally there is one hissy fit, where I talk about being the only one who does anything around here and I am tired of it! I then go and pout for a while and then resume cleaning. Somebody has got to do it. :)
Do you have time for a coffee break? Cause we could talk for hours on this topic!! i "use" to love to cook... now it is a pain... the kids have learned to push and pick there food around.. look at me and say that was tasty and zoom out of the room as fast as they can! 5 mins tops after all the mess? are you kidding me... If it were me I would be living on cereal right now! :) So just know you are not alone! I for one always feel better when someelse feels the way I do!
have a good day,
LuLu
Oh WOE is me. This sorta happened at our house last night. Our landlord had our 'new' stove delivered (love it), so I was in the kitchen, 'finishing' it. Made sure the stuff for the top of it was well cleaned (again), wiped down the countertops. Put the stuff back in the drawer that lives there (cookie sheets, pizza clay thingie that I cannot think of the word for), couple of pans, etc. Then washed the dishes that were in the sink, put away the stuff in the drainrack. Oh yeah, made sure that the stuff going back in the stove drawer was clean. Wiped down countertops. All this after a 6 mile bus ride that takes 90 min and two buses) how stupid is that?) Hubby does most of the cooking, so it was nice and clean and clear for him to use. The chicken had already been cooked and sliced for stir fry, as had the veggies. We're getting ready to eat and he tells oldest daughter it is her turn to clean up. She immediately wants to know why it is her turn, she did it last time, why doesn't her brother have to clean up...um, he's at work, it's stupid for him to come home & clean up after a dinner he didn't eat...hubby is annoyed with her & then proceeds to tell ME that I can take a turn once in a while....I had just spent 45 min cleaning and putzing in the kitchen, I spent several hours last weekend cleaning walls in the kitchen, I clean it up in the mornings before I go to work & usually when I get home...how about if I NOT clean it for a change? Sometimes the tempation to stop doing the little things around there that I do for a few days and see what piles up.
He recognizes that I work outside the home. His busines is a little slower right now, but has a project due this weekend and then a huge one starting in about mid-April when I pick up the load more...Sorry to turn the comment into a whine but geez. How about a little credit for what I did before work yesterday. And guess what, cleaning up after yourself during the day does not equal cleaning the kitchen after everyone else.
Okay...shutting up now ;D
Did you decorate the chicken..how cute!! What a funny little boy you have!
I am in a woest me mood today with head in the laundry basket!
I think any normal mom would have days like that (or even ALL days like that.) :) I sure do!
The kicker for me was when my third child was younger and would come to the stove each evening, ask "What are we eating tonight?" and then either proclaim "Yum!" or "Yuck!" before he walked away.
You've just got to laugh at that! :)
I love this real post about real life. My sentiments exactly. Cooking dinner is a mostly thankless job, but a necessary one, like most mom jobs. I go through stages off feeling sorry for myself, sometimes it's hard to get out of that cycle.
Been there, done that! I'm glad that "stage" is over. Now my son calls from college and tells me how much he misses my cooking and actually looks forward to having it when he comes home.
As for the rest ~ I need to hire one of myself since I'm the only one that seems to know how to accomplish these tasks ~ ugh!
Jo
Oh girl, I am SO going through the same sort of "season" in my life. I'm usually a neat freak and OCD about everything in my house being in order and always "company ready". My house hasn't seen that state since Christmas. I'm praying that with Spring, comes a new outlook on house-cleaning and organizing. Something has to change quickly! So, just know you're not alone.
I love that your son asks "is it decorated". That cracks me up. I love how kids think!
Hope you're having a wonderful Wednseday!
My son has the same deal with chicken. What is that? My head is in the laundry basket right now.
Oh, I need to tell you a story. My son let an entire city know how much he appreciated mama. Brett was about 4 or 5 years old and a sports radio guy was interviewing him. The interviewer was asking what it was like to be around baseball. He also asked about Brett's sister and mama. When asked what his mama did, Brett answered, "Nothing," in that little voice of his. The whole town heard this over the radio. I know he appreciates me though and he'll figure that out in a little over a year when he leaves for college. Ha!
LOL LOL
Ok..I am still laughing over the decorated Chicken!
TOO CUTE !!!
i really try to think about the people who wear the clothes i wash... the people who makes this house a home. but sometimes it it hard... and i get grumpy, toO!
Tonight our 10 year old walked into the kitchen, asked when dinner would be ready and then said "have you even STARTED it yet?" I can safely say he regretted that question! (Last week he asked "Chicken AGAIN?")Your verse is a perfect one (and our son is really a sweetie)--thank you!
And yes, me too. One week the Food Network could set up cameras in my kitchen and the next week they would have to film commercials for Fruit Loops.
I don't like cooking! I want to hire a chef!
I do, I do, I do! I bet all of us girls get in these moods from time to time...it's human nature. Good idea to put the verse in 2 spots that might lead you to a bit of a funk, too! Good thinking Sandy Toes!
Sending big cheery hugs and happy day wishes your way hun~ Les
did you decorate it howwwww cute sunriseside
Oh yes, this all sounds very familiar! You are NOT the only one who does this/feels this way! I love your honesty! That is also a good Bible verse. :) I like cleaning but sometimes it all gets so old!I have been struggling lately with having a good attitude toward all the mundane housework that piles up, and I have a verse, too! "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..." (Col. 3:23) I think I need to put it up where I can see it though, like you did! Wonderful idea! :)Now I will go promptly bury my head in the load of laundry waiting for me! :)
Yes! In fact I hadn't experienced it that much until recently when our daughter was born. It is so easy to fall into that thinking and I hate it when I do because it doesn't really affect anyone other than me!
Oh Yeah....and for some reason, this time of year it is even worse. I think it has to do with the weather and all of us being couped up in the house. Nothing ever seems clean or organized and it drives me nuts and then, yes.....I become the martyr!
I had to laugh at your decorated chicken....that is so funny. Nick always asks what I put on it.....we are just coming out of the picky stage with him, he is starting to try a little more and even becoming a tad adventurous!!
Loved your honest post.....we all feel like this at times in our life.....it is all part of the job:)
Lisa
I hear what you mean...but I don't think I can compare much because the kids are only down on the weekends...we wish they could be down more...but their school is where they live with their mom...Im soon to be stepmom!!! But we both do what we need to around the house to get things done. I have to say...thank goodness my fiance is a great cook and likes to cook (or doesnt mind it!) because I really dont like to cook and I pretty much dont cook!
This is me every other week. IT piles up so fast..
Oh, yes I do, Sandy. Or worse yet, I nag because I don't get any help. I've decided to a) not nag at hubby at all, because in this economy, he's working double-hard for half the rewards and needs encouragement, not nagging, and b) not nag at my son, but rather just hold him accountable. He has 3 strkes (or opportunities...) each day. If I ask him to do something and he isn't obedient, he loses a strike. If he loses all 3, then something HE cares about goes away. He's finally connecting that to do what HE wants, he first has to do what WE need. It's much nicer around here without all the whining (and I'm talkin' about MY whining!). Blessings on this oh so rainy day in Georgia~thank you, God, for giving us what we need, even when we complain about it!
No lie, to deal with dinner we picked 6 meals we all liked (in various degrees) and rotate them, we order in pizza once a week.
Some days it's tempting to stick my head in the laundry basket, I fight the urge and try to remember how awesome my family is when they're not all having some kind of fit or asking me for something all at the same time. :P
All.the.time.
Great post!!!
Thanks so much for visiting me on my SITS day :)
We learned very early on as kids...that we were to thank mom after she made us a meal. Even something simple like sandwiches we always said thank you. And most of the time we meant it....except when she made me eat green beans....then there was definitely some sarcasm lol. It sounds like it's time your family remembered to say "thank you".
What a great and honest post. So many times I find myself feeling the same way. It can be so hard to do what that verse says. Sometimes you just want someone to acknowledge the hard work you do~every day~no matter what.
Ruth
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