Forever Vulnerable


Someone gave me this story during my first pregnancy. I remember reading this and wondering if I really would feel like that. Well, I pulled it out yesterday from a keepsake box and wanted to share it with you all....it brought tears to my eyes...it's so true and even more...

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says, half joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on the weekend, no more spontaneous vacations..."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in child birth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her.
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think about her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she'll feel with women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand, and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. The blessed gift of being a Mother.

Happy Mother's Day {this weekend}to all my readers!

love...Sandy Toes





36 comments:

Jillene said...

Happy Mother's Day to you Sandy Toes!!

Jillene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Preppy 101 said...

Happy Mother's Day to YOU. This is a fabulous post. And so, so true. xoxo

blessedmomto7 said...

Happy Mother's Day-great story :)

Julie said...

Happy Mother's day to you too, and thanks for sharing

Jan the crazy lady said...

Happy Mom Day. You deserve it. You are really a great mother. God bless you and the family.

Liz said...

I hope you have a great Mother's Day!

Mari said...

What a great post! Happy Mothers Day to you!

April said...

I have that in my keepsake box, as well! I haven't read it in quite sometime, however, but it sure put a lump in my throat this morning.

Of all that I've done in my life, my greatest accomplishment and smartest decision was becoming a mother. You'd better believe it will change your life...for the better!

Happy Mother's Day to you, too!

Stacey @ The Blessed Nest said...

Happy Mother's Day! Such truth in that little article!! Blessings to you! :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I love this and it makes me cry each time I read it. SO TRUE!!!
Happy Mothers day to you my friend!

dood1ebugs said...

Wow! That was my life. Thank you for sharing that this morning. This is my first time at your blog and I am so glad I stopped by. Happy Mother's Day!

Kristen said...

Happy Mothers day to you!!

Tricia Anne said...

After reading, I took a deep breath. Motherhood is the most precious experience I have had this side of heaven (next to my walk with Christ) and I am so thankful for each step. Happy Mother's Day to you! :o)
Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne

LuLu said...

Happy Mother's Day Sandy Toes! Beautiful post and all of it is right on!
xo,
LuLu

Jboo said...

Such a sweet post! Thanks for sharing and Happy Mother's Day to you!

Janet

Joanna said...

Wonderful Post! Happy Mother's Day Sandy Toes!!

Darlene said...

So beautiful and Happy Mother's Day to you Sandy Toes!♥

Doris the Great said...

Perfect for Mother's Day. Have a happy, safe, loving, blessed one!

Lorrie said...

Happy Mother's Day...thanks for sharing that...and it's so true. I was such a shark in the business world...but I'm a little guppy when it comes to my kids melting my heart...blessings.

Jodee Leader said...

This is oh soooo true! Thanks for posting it!

Hope you have a Happy Mother's Day!

Sherri said...

Such a sweet post...I especially relate with the letter writer's thought on the c-section scar and stretch marks...I've had two c sections as well as tons of stretch marks and wearing them all with honor:)Happy Mother's Day!

~CC Catherine said...

That is a lovely Mother's day piece! I'm going to share this with my family of women...it's precious! Hey, I'm celebrating Mother's Day on my blog this week...deadline to enter is Mother's Day at midnight, PDT. Please feel free to drop over and enter...there are a variety of gifts I'm giving away and there are two different ways you can enter! AuRevoir~ ~CC Catherine from "Catherine de th`e Cup"
The drawing involves many new items from the "LIFE FULL Collection from DaySpring"

Heather said...

Love the story! Soo cute! Happy Mom's day!

Tara said...

What a wonderful story and so true! Happy Mother's Day!

theArthurClan said...

Isn't that the truth? Beautiful.

Lindsey said...

Happy Mothers Day to you!!

Angie said...

So beautiful and so true! Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Happy Mother's Day to you too!!

Enjoy your day!

Lisa

Ruby Red Slippers said...

I love that-I have read it before, but it IS so true-Motherhood changes your life, but it is so awesome, you can't explain it...
Happy Mother's Day-

Aubrey said...

Lovely!

Thanks for sharing! Now I have to take a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes!!!

Happy Mother's Day to you too!!

Steph at Problem Solvin' Mom said...

Oh I should have known better than to read this at work! :)

Happy Mother's Day to you!

Smelling Coffee said...

Oh my goodness! How beautiful and how true!

Kacey R. said...

Oh Sandy Toes! I was good until the very end - then I lost it. LOL That was wonderful and oh.so.true. Thanks for sharing & Happy Mother's Day!

Dawn said...

thank you! THAT was beautiful... and so true my eyes are teary. happy mother's day to you...

BS HONEY said...

So beautiful, thank you for sharing.
Happy Mothers Day.