Today, I was in our school room getting it ready for our school year. At one point, I caught myself just sitting there and thinking... If someone would of told me three years ago that I would be a tutor at a home school campus or EVEN tell me that I would be homeschooling- I may have laughed out loud. I could teach a class of 28 but teaching my three kids made me run the opposite direction!
I use to do homeschooling evaluations for families and always thought highly of "homeschooling" but I knew it was NEVER for me. It's amazing how the Lord takes our "nevers" and turns them into "forevers or always". As I sat there today, I thought how did I get here! But, I knew the answer to that because the Lord directs my path. I wish I could say that my struggle with our decision to home school was over BUT it's a constant one for me especially at the beginning of the year. I loved school...my kids loved school...I taught school. But, I know (even those moments when I don't want to admit it) that this is where we need to be.
A verse I read this morning which is so good...
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
A song that keeps popping in my mind today is the one titled "Take My life and Let It Be"...
One of the verses is
Take my will, and make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne.
{I can't remember the rest}
It's such a great hymn and reminder to me that my moments and my days are His! A friend on the phone asked me today what is the hardest part of homeschooling. I am sure she thought I would say, "Being with my kids 24/7" or "picking out curriculum" or "grading papers". But, the hardest part of homeschooling is that it exposes ME! I didn't know I was so selfish till I home schooled. I thought I was pretty patient until I home schooled. I didn't know that my "me time" was so important till I home schooled. It's a constant "mirror" of who I am and how much I need to pray that the Lord will give me the strength to give thanks in everything and a thankful heart in all things.
