There I was- just another day "volunteering"...something I really love and enjoy! But, it hit me like a lead balloon came crashing down from the sky..."I don't work!". I have no more kids at home...no naps that tie me down...no bottles to clean...no toddler kindermusic to attend. Just me! I have NOT one regret for staying home all these years...NOT ONE! My husband and I made that decision before I ever gave birth. Looking back we have sacrificed...many, many things like vacations, new cars, bigger house, new furniture etc....! Right now, we continue to sacrifice for me to stay home. Honestly, I feel that "sacrifice" (it's a good sacrifice) more than I ever had. I am facing bigger things like braces and tuition.
A new mother in our culture is faced with the huge decision in returning to work vs. staying home. That HUGE decision comes again when they are all in school. But, as a new mom you still don't know what you are missing just yet...it's all new...you haven't felt the "years" pass by. But, after that last one walks through that classroom and you have been home all these years ...you can look back and then look ahead and realize "time" is so precious.
So here I sit with the dilemma to either get on Monster.com or just continue to make the conscious choice to "Be Here". At least, "be here" the way I want to "be here".
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang up my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I LOOKED....and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.