I think it's always amazing how easy it is for me to trust in the Lord when life is going good or things are going my way.
Over the past month or so, a huge "desire of my heart" seemed to be happening...as each week passed...it seemed more evident that it would. Surprisingly, it was something that I thought would never happen even years ago....it was something I wanted so badly but I faced the "reality" that this would NOT be my reality. So I dealt with it, made the best of it and tried to find peace and blessing with what I did have over the years. It was hard at times....and sometimes the "lack of it" would creep it's ugly head of discontentment but I would "stuff it away again.
Over the last few weeks, I (I should say "we) thought something amazing would come true. I thought about it, I planned for it....I kept it quiet however as the days passed...I told those close to me about it. It's amazing how we forget the 'desires of our heart' but when they appear again...we forget how badly we wanted it and missed it...
But, sadly, this door has been "shut"...what we thought would be...is not! I forgot how much I wanted it until I thought I had it then lost it. I am notorious for surrounding myself with activities and friends and busyness to avoid the quietness of reality. I had already in my mind over the past week ran a bunch of great ideas for a post exclaiming the "desires of my heart" had been answered but instead today it's a post about trusting in the Lord.
This is my verse today in Proverbs...
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
It's so easy to believe it when trusting is easy and life is good...but it's a whole different situation when life gives you a curve ball... or you think to yourself what in the world was the PURPOSE in all this...in these events...in this possibility.
I was content and now I am not.
Even though right now...I don't understand the purpose of this past month...I am trying to remind myself that God is sovereign and that I need to be careful of a discontented spirit.
My prayer is...
Whatever He gives me — let me thankfully receive it.
Whatever He denies me — let me be satisfied without it.
Whatever He takes from me — let me uncomplainingly part with it.
Whatever trial He lays on me — let me endeavor patiently to bear it.
Yes, my lot in life, with all its attendant circumstances, is chosen by God!
I have this on a bookmark in my Bible and today...it is my prayer. The Lord opened the "door" and now He closed it. A big part of faith is trusting God when you don't understand it...it can seem perfect..it can be anything from a relationship, job promotion or family situation. But when God shuts the door it is easy to be bitter or throw a self pity party... but as easy as that is for me I want to keep trusting...
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
His ways are higher than my ways~